Check out this first: http://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=10150317353642519&id=66323002518

Now my stance:

Hello. I wanted to post this on the status in response to all the other comments; however, I am unable to but would like to share my thoughts…hopefully you will post for me! Thanks!

Rihanna’s situation should never be taken and used in the light that it has by many this morning who commented on your status or the thousands that do it daily. She was a victim of domestic violence, something that goes on daily throughout many households and often the cause of a life being taken to soon, either the victim or abuser, so I really find it healthy that something this serious is being discusses, debated about to some degree; however, I feel that some true points were never mentioned, please read on as I address them.

Is she a role model? Absolutely! There are so many women who have come forward because they saw Rihanna do it and so many now who will never experience that situation because she took a stand. Now how she took her stand, why does it matter, she took it…she did what many people who loss a love one to hand of an abuser which their love one had done or child who say mom get beat and pleaded with her to speak out, etc. She is a role model to other victims if no one else so please let’s not discredit her bravery because her stepping forward has saved lives we did even know were going to be loss. Maybe she is not the role model you want for self or for children in your life but still to discredit her abilities is basically saying that her story isn’t worth and everyone’s story is worth of being heard!

Instead of saying that she is using it for attention, we should be saying come out, come out whomever, wherever, no one is going to judge you but instead we are making the thoughts that many abused women, even men have, real. What those actions are doing is sending the message to those abused, that they will be judge, maybe not believed or talked down about because of their situation or the length of them being abuse, as well as to the abusers, that I can beat you and do what I want to you because people aren’t going to help you, they are basically going to treat you like I have been just in a different way. It leaves those being abuse to answer the wrong question: “Which type of abuse to do I want, physical or mental?” Leaves them deciding which one they can handle or cause the least amount of pain and which would you choose something to think about. So let’s so with the comments of she is doing it for tickets sales, etc., let’s instead say please come out, maybe this can be your breakthrough in career, success, or whatever, just free yourself of the abuse! God did not sacrifice his son, Jesus, so that his child would be subject of abuse, so let’s stop judging because we are just as guilty as the abuser when we judge someone or criticize their timing of revealing as we are adding to their abuse and not helping them to be freed of it!

Everyone wants to go and tear apart what she likes in her sexual encounters and what she prefers, seriously it is 2011! Most people in America use some type of toy, whip, chain, rope, etc. It is the society that we live in and if you prefer not to, then okay, great for you but just because she said she does, does not make her the bad guy or less than to be someone’s idol. Of course she could have left that bit of detail to be a mystery, but she did not, so what. That does not discredit her story of abuse nor does it provide an excuse or reason why she could have been abused or potential was subjected to abuse. No man should every put his hands on a woman, as she is his rib and no woman should ever put her hands on a man, as he is the body to her rib. Protection should be the greatest concern of both! Rihanna’s success and where she came from in her youth days, adult days etc., is what should make her someone’s idol. People have idols all the time who have done things at one point and time that are deemed bad, negative, but an idol is made as to how someone copes, overcomes or turn their life around despite the negatives and for Rihanna to come back into the public eyes of judgment with her face looking at one point how it did, is enough in itself for her to be whoever’s idol, especially someone who shares her similar story, that we probably do not know, it provides to them the needed message that it is okay, you are not defined by what someone did to you. They may have left you with a scare but they did not take you heart, soul, voice, or whatever. That return takes heart, strength and faith to come back in this judgmental society that we live in filled with comments such as “She does not look that bad”, “She heal well”, etc., or pure sympathy 24/7 making someone feel worse than they did when beaten or bones broken.

Now the lyrics to Love the Way You Lie, I feel that everyone missed the ball on those. I listened to the song and I heard her talking to those who knew she was being abused, because others knew. They saw it, heared it or even covered it up for both of them, thinking it was for their best, maybe, and that’s who she was speaking too, I thought, feel. That is what she was meant when she said you’re going to stand there and watch me burn, but that’s okay, because I love the way you lie! That was her saying that she this is only making me stronger and teaching me who has my back in this lifestyle and who does not! Of course she was talking to him as well, but to me, it was more so to the people who turned the other cheek, for whatever reason(s), that is who she was speaking to, those who heard her cry and did nothing. I felt that E’s lyrics was a descriptive of how public or obvious it was for others to have seen the abuse and witnessed her going back and forth, yet no one said anything to stop him or her as they both were sick and not in their right state of mind.

This is my take on the status and the comments provided.

Feel free to agree or disagree with me! I believe it is healthy for one’s soul and intellect. This situation is far more real than many are allowing it to be due to it being Rihanna! She needs to work on what she says, maybe, but we, the people, need to work on being more accepting of people and their situations, stop being so quick to judge and bring out a person’s past, regardless of whom they are, especially celebs as they are humans also. They do things just like we do and make mistakes too! So let’s not be so critical of them because if we were in that spotlight 24/7 as they are this can be one of us being ripped a new one!

Feel free to respond or check out other things I have posted or written. I welcome the feedback on all!!!!

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Best,
Nichole S.

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